You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
