the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
