whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
