I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
