I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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