sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
