I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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