Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
