As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
