i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We need to get me chipped asap
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
