I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
