fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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