i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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