I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
