She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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