I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
