I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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