this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
