I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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