I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
