He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
