he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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