He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
