Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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