return my video game
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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