You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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