Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
