whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
