im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my being single is dangerous.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
