You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize