So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
