arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
