You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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