Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
