I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The feeling are messing with the penis
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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