you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
