Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize