Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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