there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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