i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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