i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
