Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
