are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
