I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.