She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
