very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.