We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
