we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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