I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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