haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
