There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
