If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
