her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
