Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
