Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
