It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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