She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I need water and some morals
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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