just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
