we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
