but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize