Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
