Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
