capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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