hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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