So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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