But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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