he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
