just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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