Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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