Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize