the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
