That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
